Wrong, so wrong.
Firstly - there is vegan boy, as I affectionately call youngest son Alistair. Not being sure exactly what he will be able to eat at the resort restaurants so we have cautiously pack a few things just in case. As there will be no cooking facilities in the room I have to think about what you can knock up into an edible meal with just a kettle. And to think I used to rubbish cous cous - but on reflection what a clever grain this is, all we need is to pour over some boiling water and bingo, in five minutes yummy edible grain. And luckily Ainsley Harriot has this lovely pre-flavoured cous cous in handy meal sized sachets, so it may well still have the texture of sand but at least it is tasty sand. And cheap - OK the price of the posh cous cous is ten fold the price of the natural product (they are the plain packets you can find at the bottom of the supermarket shelves) but hey, if we westerners are going to eat the food of African peasants it is only fair that we pay top dollar while we are denuding the third world of its cheapest food sources.
As well as the cous cous Alistair has packed some beans to mix through, and some baked beans, which takes me back to when we all pilloried Shane Warne for taking baked beans to India. Some cereal for breakfast, and of course UHT soy milk for the cereal. And some nuts, and dried fruit. Oh, and some peanut butter, and of course crackers to spread it on. Some two minute noodles. And that very cute tiny bottle of truffle oil that has been sitting in the pantry for ages, wrapped in bubble wrap to make sure it survives the flight. Naturally truffle infused olive oil is an essential for a pacific island holiday.
Coffee is another thing that Alistair, and his father, cannot live without. I am sure they were only half joking when they both looked at their coffee maker and discussed packing it. They are just going to have to make do with a plunger (carefully bubble wrapped) and ground coffee for the week. So that now is probably half Alistair's luggage allowance on food.
If it was only Alistair's food we had to worry about then we would be laughing. But do you have any idea how much junk two children aged 3 years and 2 years need for a week ? Certainly more than their parents' luggage allowance provides for. So Nicole has been divvying up luggage amongst relatives and friends. We scored the disposable nappies, they may take up a third of my large case, bu t they are mercifully light. I also volunteered for the snorkel set, child's life-vest and the dozens of packets of potato chips the Hilton-Fletchers see the need to take. As you can see, I was savvy, all the light stuff.
And then there is the bonbonaire. If we were having a sensible Melbourne wedding this could all just sit in the back of someone's car for the day - but no, this stuff has to lugged across the pacific. At least we only got the children's gifts. Poor Shaina got loaded (literally) with the task of conveying the somewhat heavier adults gifts.
I am so looking forward to the question at airport check-in now - Are you carrying items for anyone else ? It could take me half an hour to itemise it all. Wish me luck.
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